That was a thursday and i was starting with my nightduty on that day.I woke up by around 8:30am freshened up myself and went down to see what was there for breakfast(i should tell you here that i am living in a hostel.So by going down i mean going down to the dietry)

I had already decided that i will not drink coffee because as i already said my night shift was starting that day i seriously believed having caffein at the start of theday can ruin my daytime sleep.

Anyway i went down and found that it was “upma”-a common breakfast dish and snack of the Indian families especially south India.So i should go with my strategy number two whichis to prepare some oats for breakfast because rava upma and vermicelli upma ,these are the two dishes that i hate the most as breakfast in the hostel.

Thus i went up, to my room where i had a new packet of quaker oats and three packets of milk,each packet containing some 200ml which is equal to one glass.I planned to take the sugar and sauce pan from my friend Nisha’s room who had gone for night duty.

I started preparing the oats in our pantry,but here i should confess that this is the first time i am actually preparing the oats all by myself though i had a clear idea of it.

As i was preparing it i thought in my mind that if Nisha had come now after duty i could give some of it to her also.She too hates upma and i was sure she would be glad to find something else to eat as she is back from night shift.But then i thought if i kept for her and waited it would be cold and be wasted and i didnt have the adequate vessels to keep it safe and nor did i prepare enough quantity and i dropped the idea of giving some to her.

But then as soon as i finished eating she came back,as expected was desperate to see the breakfast available.She saw that i had prepared something and found out i had oats.Suddenly out of formality i said i prepared only one cup and asked if she wanted so that i could give her the extra milk and oats i had to prepare.Though first she said no,after some time told that she was thinking if she could get something else other than the upma…so i decided i should prepare some for her,went down,by the way she also came with me,prepared oats for her and came back to her room.

As i was giving company to her,i took a cup of milk with bournvita.For the next 20min we both talked and gossiped over many things and by that time i almost finished my cup of milk but she was yet to finish her meal but was almost done with it mentally.I reached last part of the cup of milk where you get the sweetest milk with bits of bournvita.I thought it was the best part of the cup and offered it to her.

Suddenly her face changed a little and told me something that shed a light on my own behavior and attitude .What she said was this”all through the time you had the cup of milk you didnt offer me a sip and now at the very end of it you are giving off that last bit,which is not a right behaviour at all,whatever you intended .You really dont know how to behave with people”.She is my best friend and not even a single word she said made me feel bad instead it made me think…it was like a dose of self awareness for me…i thought about it a lot and finally it made me write this.

On the very first hand as i prepared the meal i should have decided to prepare some for Nisha also,especially because i knew that she will be coming tired after the night shift and she would hate to see upma as breakfast.

Secondly as we sat together chatting and eating our own stuff,i should have offered some of mine,probably the first few sips or second half sips and not merely the last bit,though i thought in my mind that the last bit was the most tastiest.

So i thoght to myself ,why this sort of a behavioural lapse occurred from my side,though it seemed so silly or small.

Then i came up with the following reasons

1)I didnt really think about the other person…or cared

2)As we sat together to eat ,i thought we both were having something and we were immersed in our chats that i didnt really feel the need to offer mine ,infact she offered her stuff to me multiple times though she knows that i have already had it in the morning,because of which i refused.Even then I didnt think of giving to her.

For this her advise was that,though we both were eating ,we were eating two different stuff and it was an etiquitte to offer each others’.

I know for sure that she was not craving for my bournvita milk to tell all this but she was trying to pinpoint and correct my behavioural flaws as a good friend and thats what made me do this write up.😊



For all girls out there…..

Dear girlsAtleast once in your twenties you need to take yourself for a SELF DATE……Choose a random day when you are free,dress up well so that you are confident enough and just move out.Preferably dont take any transport but just walk.Feel the nature,feel the air,the wind,the sunlight ,the dust,the smoke and even the pollution right on your skin…Walk ,roam,shop, eat out…all alone.With this you are going to feel so good about yourself….it simply rejuvinates your mind and body and it is really gonna boost up your self esteem,self worth and confidence…TRY IT

Move on

You are allowed to fall down,breakdown and cry but you are not allowed to stay there…..

Get up ,dust yourself off wipe your tears and start moving forward…..though slowly.Take your time with those baby steps that sets you in motion but make sure you dont stay stagnant..


Let it go

No matter how much ever you try you will end up losing certain things in life.

It could be a job,a fortune, a person, a relationship or certain moments or phases in life. It could be anything.

No matter how much you loved them,how much you wanted them, how much you fought for them or even how sincere and genuine you were.

And it is going to hurt damn hell as if a part of your heart is chopped and it’s bleeding. But deep in your heart you know for sure that there was nothing more you could do about it. Considering the situations and your state of mind you did your maximum.

They very thought or belief that you did your best is a positive sign. It helps you to be in peace with yourself and accept yourself and the reality.

Just think of all the ways in which you put in your effort and appreciate each and every baby step that you took.

May be there were things that could be done but were they within your limits and circumstances???

When you reach that point, that’s were you will find yourself.Its that point from where you will understand and embrace the person you are with all its imperfections .


Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall .


It is indeed okay

“Smile , ………. smile often you can do it Leah….you can .You will come out of this .Believe in yourself ,you will definitely come out of this i am telling you.This is not the end of your life,its just a part,just apart,just an experience,a lesson….you will come out of this believe me you will. ……..Its OK, IT IS INDEED OKAAYYYY… get hurt,to feel bad……it is OK to feel bad about yourself,about others ,IT IS OKAAYY….Listen….this is not going to determine or shape your future….never allow it to  narrow and shatter the big dreams and hopes that you have about life.

See there will be times in your life when you don’t feel like waking up in the morning and just want to fall into sleep again, just doze off so that you forget everything but the moment you wake up you are still there,the same pain ,the same,guilt,the same regret and the pain of your heart which is so close or much more than physical….I am telling you its not common but its OKAY…. You try to start doing things,you fail,go back do it again… move a little forward ,try to forget things and it …..the memories…… especially the bad ones has a funny,crooked and cruel way of returning more strongly….but still you try , you endure the pain and move forward………thats how it is….you overcome…those small steps that you take …step by step…you fall many a times but still move on …….Yes it is perfectly a normal phase of your life……the struggle to survive anything that life throws at you …..more importantly it is part of the God’s wonderful plans working for you …….yes definitely it is …….definitely you will come out with flying colors ……sure, guarantee”

She moved back slowly and gracefully gazing at Leah who was staring at her with tears overflowing that wet her whole face ……and finally vanished into the darkness….Leah tossed her head on all sides searching but she could not find .Suddenly she opened her eyes and saw the same darkness in front of her .She moved her hands under the pillow searching for her phone,it was 2 am ……no it couldn’t be ……it was so real …so close, so much related to her life, the words were exactly what she desperately wanted at this point of life… couldn’t be a dream …..can dreams be so real and serve the need of the is that possible?

She tried to remember the face of that beautiful woman who was talking to her ….but she failed ……but when she was there the entire room was filled with so bright white light like she has never seen and an unimaginable amount of peace filled her like she has never experienced ….yes it was still there even after she left ….By the thought of an impulse her hand fell on the box of bible verses ,took out the random slip that she got ” The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. psalms 34;18″.A tear drop fell on her cheek and her lips whispered “AMEN”.