That was a thursday and i was starting with my nightduty on that day.I woke up by around 8:30am freshened up myself and went down to see what was there for breakfast(i should tell you here that i am living in a hostel.So by going down i mean going down to the dietry)
I had already decided that i will not drink coffee because as i already said my night shift was starting that day i seriously believed having caffein at the start of theday can ruin my daytime sleep.
Anyway i went down and found that it was “upma”-a common breakfast dish and snack of the Indian families especially south India.So i should go with my strategy number two whichis to prepare some oats for breakfast because rava upma and vermicelli upma ,these are the two dishes that i hate the most as breakfast in the hostel.
Thus i went up, to my room where i had a new packet of quaker oats and three packets of milk,each packet containing some 200ml which is equal to one glass.I planned to take the sugar and sauce pan from my friend Nisha’s room who had gone for night duty.
I started preparing the oats in our pantry,but here i should confess that this is the first time i am actually preparing the oats all by myself though i had a clear idea of it.
As i was preparing it i thought in my mind that if Nisha had come now after duty i could give some of it to her also.She too hates upma and i was sure she would be glad to find something else to eat as she is back from night shift.But then i thought if i kept for her and waited it would be cold and be wasted and i didnt have the adequate vessels to keep it safe and nor did i prepare enough quantity and i dropped the idea of giving some to her.
But then as soon as i finished eating she came back,as expected was desperate to see the breakfast available.She saw that i had prepared something and found out i had oats.Suddenly out of formality i said i prepared only one cup and asked if she wanted so that i could give her the extra milk and oats i had to prepare.Though first she said no,after some time told that she was thinking if she could get something else other than the upma…so i decided i should prepare some for her,went down,by the way she also came with me,prepared oats for her and came back to her room.
As i was giving company to her,i took a cup of milk with bournvita.For the next 20min we both talked and gossiped over many things and by that time i almost finished my cup of milk but she was yet to finish her meal but was almost done with it mentally.I reached last part of the cup of milk where you get the sweetest milk with bits of bournvita.I thought it was the best part of the cup and offered it to her.
Suddenly her face changed a little and told me something that shed a light on my own behavior and attitude .What she said was this”all through the time you had the cup of milk you didnt offer me a sip and now at the very end of it you are giving off that last bit,which is not a right behaviour at all,whatever you intended .You really dont know how to behave with people”.She is my best friend and not even a single word she said made me feel bad instead it made me think…it was like a dose of self awareness for me…i thought about it a lot and finally it made me write this.
On the very first hand as i prepared the meal i should have decided to prepare some for Nisha also,especially because i knew that she will be coming tired after the night shift and she would hate to see upma as breakfast.
Secondly as we sat together chatting and eating our own stuff,i should have offered some of mine,probably the first few sips or second half sips and not merely the last bit,though i thought in my mind that the last bit was the most tastiest.
So i thoght to myself ,why this sort of a behavioural lapse occurred from my side,though it seemed so silly or small.
Then i came up with the following reasons
1)I didnt really think about the other person…or cared
2)As we sat together to eat ,i thought we both were having something and we were immersed in our chats that i didnt really feel the need to offer mine ,infact she offered her stuff to me multiple times though she knows that i have already had it in the morning,because of which i refused.Even then I didnt think of giving to her.
For this her advise was that,though we both were eating ,we were eating two different stuff and it was an etiquitte to offer each others’.
I know for sure that she was not craving for my bournvita milk to tell all this but she was trying to pinpoint and correct my behavioural flaws as a good friend and thats what made me do this write up.😊